|by Dr. Jeffrey Lant
Author's program note. 2012 ought to be a big Republican year, not least because President Obama is perceived by almost no one as the leader we need. A good man, yes; up to the job... no way. But Obama, with all his baggage, remains, in my humble opinion, the likely winner, unless (and it's a big "unless") unemployment goes up. However, most of my commenting colleagues think a very marginal drop is likely -- not an increase. I concur. Thus, I've selected the song "But not for me" (written by George Gershwin in 1930) to accompany this article. "They're writing songs of love"... but not for Mitt! Go to any search engine to find this much sung song. I like the Rod Stewart version best... Mitt, of course, won't like any version at all.... pity. It's a great number.
With the state of the nation what it is, and what it threatens to remain -- dismal -- a guy like Mitt Romney ought to be riding the crest of a wave that'll deliver him in due course to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue with whoops of joy and the prayers of a great people.
He's brighter than bright.
A hard-working, dedicated policy wonk with a graduate student's dedication and ardor.
So rich that even he doesn't have a clue how much money he's got.
A picture-perfect family with smiles to die for.
Yes, Mitt's got it all... except for judgement, integrity and honesty. And he's got only himself to blame for this glaring lapse, so big you could drive a coach and four comfortably through it, and which you can see for yourself any day you like.
This is why der Mitt-ster is in trouble and why the hapless big wigs of the GOP want anyone, absolutely anyone, other than Mitt. And I understand why: as a tax- paying citizen of Massachusetts, I know how they feel. Like they want to puke, every time they think of this guy at the head of their next national ticket.
Thus these diligent Solons of the Great Republic have been tripping over themselves to find a candidate, their actions ham-fisted, clumsy, but telling as they have scrounged up and praised such verifiable pygmies as Michelle Bachmann, who is next door to a moron; Rick Perry who wouldn't know how to spell his own name if a less challenged aide didn't hold up a cue card to remind him; Herman Cain who has never had trouble wooing les femmes, just profound difficulty remembering where and when... and keeping his wife of decades up to date.
And now, wafted by the incense of New Hampshire's largest newspaper, the Manchester Union Leader, which never met a kooky idea it didn't like, is touting Newt Gringrich, a man who would denounce his own mother if it got him a look-see, much less the White House. Ask his many wives, mistresses, chicks and concubines and see for yourself. It'll all come out in the wash anyway.
It would all be hysterically funny... except that we voters of America, denizens all of the Great Republic, are going to have to live with the results... and that's a revolting development if anything ever was.
Why are all these people working so hard for Anyone But Mitt?
"Veritas", Harvard's motto -- and Mitt's.
Let's get one thing perfectly straight, everything that Mitt says, whenever he says it is always TRUTH, no matter that it is totally opposite to what he said on the subject five minutes ago. Mitt is to American politics what the Pope speaking ex cathedra infallible is to Rome, a man never wrong, with a license to reshuffle the truth that we lesser folks must adhere to. Mitt went to Harvard (all serious candidates always do)... and so "Veritas" (truth) is his motto. Luckily, he never has to worry finding it. It's what he utters all day, every day, no matter his subject, implausible, disingenuous or inaccurate. As you can imagine, this considerably simplifies his life and labors... and makes campaign fact-checkers superfluous; around Mitt they are simply unneeded.
Governor Mitt of Massachusetts instituted a progressive health care program which was timely, needed, forward looking, a program that would have made any governor of any state proud. But Candidate Mitt has done everything but deny he was governor at the time to get out of accepting responsibility and credit for what ought to be his acme.
Sometimes he's pro gay rights; sometimes he's not.
Sometimes he'll cut a deal on illegal immigrants; sometimes he won't.
Only one thing is constant: that whatever he says, to whomever he says it is the God's honest truth, cross his heart and hope to die.
In the last few days Mitt has gotten himself in at least two middens which would surely trip up and soil any other candidate, lesser folk all.
First the Boston Globe (which takes a proprietary interest in Mitt, having helped elevate him to his current celestial status) reported that in 2006 Governor Mitt's top aides purchased their computer hard drives just before his administration ended, and the usual Democratic hacks returned to the State House's corner office. Fully 11 of Mitt's minions ponied up for their drives, something never considered by previous excellencies, much less done.
Now you and I could guess what was going on, couldn't we? After all, in the real world we inhabit, people put things, all sorts of things, on their computers they don't want the world and his brother to see. So we make sure those hard drives belong to us and nobody else. And so le tout Massachusetts came to the instant conclusion that those drives and their owners were up to no good. Purchase was the result... never mind that this was unprecedented... awfully suggestive... and maybe even illegal.
But remember, Mitt is not merely potentate, he is Pope. And so, after waiting days to respond to reporters' queries on the matter, he released his encyclical, explaining all, disclaiming all. All was right, nothing wrong, why even wonder?
Why wonder, too, about Mitt and company's next faux pas; the outright lie that was his very first ad against Obama. It shows a clip of the president saying, "If we keep talking about the economy, we're going to lose." Never mind that these words were Obama quoting John McCain, the GOP nominee Romney wanted to run with last time round. The ad was not just misleading... it was a blatant distortion...
... which Romney aide Eric Fehrnstrom, the most indiscrete and bumptious campaign counselor ever, confirmed, happy in this deception. "It's all deliberate," he exulted. In other words, St. Mitt knew it was a lie; authorized the lie, then told the world he was happy that he lied. Even the most cynical were appalled.
And so the matter rests at this moment, as we await Mitt's next assault on truth, justice and the American way; his next distortion, deceit, disingenuity. For make no mistake, the next one is on the way, as Mitt plumbs the depths he expects to take him to the top. That's why you'll find me at all his campaign rallies selling air sickness bags, three for a buck. I'll clean up.
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